With a 9am appointment and the clock now hitting 12, I have still not seen my specialist and I am slowly getting accustomed to spending the rest of my life in waiting rooms.
The first step was an initial hearing test, completed by a towering giant of a man with a heart of gold.
Meeting so many new faces in such a short period of time during my recovery, I’ve realized that you can instantly recognize when people are happy and truly fulfilled in what they’re doing with their lives.
It’s so hard to explain what that spark is…or summarize it, all I know is that I had that once and I desperately wanted mine back.
But getting back on track, following a head injury a lot can happen to your ears:
- Inflammation (swelling, bruising)
- Fluid behind the eardrums
- Perforated ear drums
- Otosclerosis – middle ear bone(s) unable to move and vibrate, not allowing sound to travel through the ear due to stress fractures
- Skull fractures – can result in damage to fine hair cells and auditory nerves
- Cranial Nerve damage
I noticed after the accident that my hearing had declined quite a lot, and hoped these tests would resolve my fears of cranial nerve damage and clarify any chance of further deterioration over time.
They performed tests on bone conduction of sound to determine whether it was the decompression of the skull that may have affected the ear canal.
I am still hopeful that my hearing will return to normal as I can’t help but assimilate hearing aids with old age, dentures, nursing homes and grandma’s TV on max volume.
I managed to score a photo in the hearing testing box, a task that took several shots as I kept putting the headphones around the wrong way. Apparently in the “audiologist community” this is a huge problem… not that I could or still can honestly tell the difference.
Waiting to see the ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) Specialist, I noticed an older lady also waiting and what I truly mean to say is that it was hard to miss her…
Short white/grey hair, legs swollen like tree trunks, leaning over her walker with her bright purple handbag trailing behind her.
Never in my life had I experienced such a loud and abrupt person who complained as much as she did.
Her carer “Luke “trailed behind her, glued to his phone and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.
I kept thinking to myself, this lady needs her own TV show.
She complained about the chairs she sat in,
Complained about the television size,
Complained about the waiting time,
Complained about the toilet doors being squeaky
Complained about indigestion and loose bowels (too much information I know!)
Complained about the receptionist
Complained about her lowered sex drive (oh I know, I know)
She complained no more about anything else then she did about LUKE and his inability to make a cup of tea.
And So it began.
LUKE! LUKE! Hey, LUKE you’re not listening!
I want a cup of tea Luke! I want a cup of tea.
He ventured off into the kitchen… On returning his pale skinned hand passed her the cup of tea and all hell broke loose.
LUKE IT’S TOO HOT
DID YOU PUT SUGAR IN THIS
THERES NO SUGAR IN THIS
WHY DIDN’T YOU PUT SUGAR IN THIS?
It was at this moment I realized her actual real name was Sheila, finding her similar to that of the old scary ladies written about in children’s horror stories.
I kept thinking that Hansel and Grettle would have been no match for such an adversary, and I dare say Luke should run professional patience seminars.
That is when Luke replied with the almighty: “Yes I put sugar in this, you just need to stir it and aren’t you just sweet enough already!”
The waiting room eyes immediately dispersing in all directions, we knew what was coming haha.
WHY DO I NEED TOO?
WHY DIDN’T YOU STIR IT!?
WHATS TAKING SO LONG!!?
IM STIRRING AND IT STILL DOESN’T TASTE GOOD
I DON’T WANT IT
TAKE IT AWAY.
Yes please, I thought to myself. “Take her away haha“.
As she entered the bathroom only moments later, calling out for Luke that she had made some sort of a mess!?
I couldn’t hold back my laugh or smiles any longer.
Slipping my headphones over my ears and that god awful sound subsiding to a music playlist, never once until now had I sighed with relief that my hearing was actually worse.
Although after all this, I am not giving it much incentive to recover and I truly can tell you “Life could be worse”.
Luke if you’re reading this, you are a godsend and I don’t know how you do it.
