“On the 19th of April 2015, my life changed far beyond what I ever could have imagined.”
Today i ask you to wake up as if from a deep sleep.
You open your eyes slowly and the pain echoes through your limbs as if you had been beaten within an inch of your life.
You look at the blurred unfamiliar surroundings, the hospital walls, the beds with people you have never met before.
You don’t understand why your here, what happened, that is of course until you see one familiar face.
Your mother stands over you and says “its going to be okay , you have been in an accident”.
Your heart sinks in your chest, and as you try to take a breath it feels as if your rib cage had collapsed around you,
As you try to talk, nothing comes out.
Scared is an understatement.
You are experiencing a terrifying dream that you never wake up from. As it slowly becomes your reality.
My reality.
.
On the 19th of April 2015 i was involved in a serious motor vehicle accident, that i should not have survived from. Stationary at the time, our vehicle was hit by a drunk driver at over 85 kmp/h .
15 minutes earlier I was travelling along Pinjarra road, singing Ed Sheeran on the way to a fuel station to enjoy one last love filled night with my partner before I flew out for work.
Instead my body lay lifeless up against her car door, in cardiac arrest after using what little strength I had to try and get her out.
Still unknown to me that my head was caved in, almost beyond repair.
I regained consciousness five days later with no recollection or memory of what had happened, only with the knowledge that I was beyond lucky to still be here.
For those who knew me before, if you saw me on the street, at a fuel station, maybe even at the beach or with friends over the last eight months, you wouldn’t know any different.
But a lot has changed.
- I have re-learnt to talk,
- Learnt to walk.
- Spent hours awake due to nightmares and flashbacks
- Undergone Physical, emotional and mental therapy
- Seen more general practitioners, psychologists and specialists then i ever knew existed.
- I have tried to check myself into a psychiatric facility 4 times.
- I have considered suicide on multiple occasions.
- Hurt myself and those around me.
- I have had hallucinations, lashed out at family, and ended up in emergency .
- I have broken several doors, mirrors and statues at my families house.
- Undergone hypnotism that ultimately led to the destruction of my relationship.
- Lived with hyper arousal and exposed myself naked online.
- Experimented with drugs
- Taken antidepressants and sleeping tablets just to get through the night.
Given up on the person i was, and fought tirelessly to get him back.
The last 8 months has been the hardest experience of my entire life, that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.
But the hardest task of all was trying to convince everyone including myself that I am okay, because I’m not.
But I will be.
I started to write about my experiences as part of my rehabilitation, and then it grew into so much more than just words on a page.
Finally after all this time I’m ready to share, allow people in to my life completely unfiltered, and help others understand the consequences that drink driving can have on someones entire life.
My world changed in an instant, and continues to change more and more everyday.
I started this blog for others to share in this journey with me.
I hope that you can learn from my experiences, understand the affects of a traumatic brain injury and mental health issues, while also helping to influence the community to make the right decision when it comes to stepping behind the wheel.
Everyday another young life is lost and the ones lucky enough to survive, sometimes never really go on living.